flabofsteel:

gandalph:

livvefast:

ditch-able-prom-date:

thetableistryingtoeatme:

Shout out to all the religious kids who keep their beliefs to themselves in the middle of science class.

shout out also to the atheists who don’t shit on everyone else’s beliefs “because science”

shout out to everyone who can accept science and religion coexisting

shout out to everyone who can treat people with respect despite their differences

shout out to all you fly motherfuckahs

If My Dog Could Talk

  • Dog: WAT DOING
  • Me: Nothing. I just stood up.
  • Dog: WHERE GO
  • Me: I'm literally walking 3 feet away. I'm not even leaving the room.
  • Dog: CAN I COME
  • Me: I mean sure but I'm literally just-
  • Dog: I COME TOO
  • Dog: WAT DOING
  • Me: I need to open this door.
  • Dog: I HALP
  • Me: No but you're in front of the door. Move please.
  • Dog: I HALP
  • Me: Sigh.
  • Dog: WHERE GOING
  • Me: I am going right back to the exact place I was sitting a second ago.
  • Dog: CAN I COME
  • Me: Sure.
  • Dog: I SIT IN LAP
  • Me: No please don't you are-
  • Dog: I SIT IN LAP
  • Me: No there's no room and-
  • Dog: LAP
  • Me: No, sit on the floor and I'll pet you.
  • Dog: RIGHT HERE
  • Me: That's literally on top of my leg.
  • Dog: IT'S PERFECT PET ME
  • Me: I am petting you. One second, let me just grab my glass-
  • Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
  • Me: I literally am petting you, I just needed a drink-
  • Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
  • Me: I AM
  • Dog: I SIT IN LAP
  • Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME
  • Dog: HOLD SLOBBER TOY
  • Dog: SNEEZE IN UR FACE
  • Me: .......

leadfeathers:

geekerypokery:

jeremymcbitchin:

Imagine having braces during the apocalypse. no one can take your braces off. And you just have to accept that you’ll have braces forever.

i want a novel focused around a character with braces during the apocalypse and the entire plot of the story revolves around their search for an orthodontist who is still alive and they sort of accidentally save the world in the process

Titled: Brace for It.